Looking for relief

branches of kindness

Dusky skies over the River Tweed

Has anyone else been feeling the labour pains of early spring? The polarity of high-energy sunny days, and heavy rain-dripped chill days, send my nervous system into exhaustion as my emotions bounce to meet the weather. This season bring a rush of creativity, ideas, inspiration that quickly turn to plans, jobs and work, and it’s oh-so-easy to get caught up in more doing than I have the capacity for.

So here’s my relief, and my solace, when I find that my brain is buzzing from either too-long a to-do list, or the numb anxiety of a day spent cooped up inside feeling like I’ve not achieved anything - a walk at dusk. It’s the last moment, I’ve put it off all day and it can no longer wait, so I pull on my boots and race the setting sun for my favourite walk.

I walk in the world to love it - Mary Oliver

Goat Willow at dusk in March

Wet dove-grey fur bursts to bright pollen

All the way up the road past gardens, I calm my anxious mind by naming trees as I pass, their bare branches hanging over the stone walls and spreading above me across the pavement. One of those techniques of counting and noticing your surroundings that’s so helpful when stuck in spiralling thought patterns, just tweaked and made into my own game.

Beech, Sycamore, Laburnum, the humming in my mind lessens. Hawthorn, Holly, Silver Birch, and my steps slow a bit from the frenzied march to a settled walk. I pause by the lovely Goat Willow to stroke the pussy-willow downy buds, enjoying the colours and whisper ‘hello’.

Sycamore

Hawthorn

As I carry on, naming more trees as I pass them and noticing how beautiful the shapes of their branches are against the deepening sky, I realise: it was 2 years ago, whilst on my Forest School training week, that I set the intention to learn to name more trees. I knew some trees by their summery leaf-shapes, others by their berries or flowers, but I longed to know them more intimately - to tell a tree by it’s bark or it’s shape on the horizon.

Beech

Ash

And it’s not something I had to particularly work on, rather I intentionally spent more time outdoors and let the learning happen. More time outdoors, more walks, more sitting, more looking. If you stop by a tree and say hello, rest your palm on it’s trunk briefly before you move on, just those tiny seconds add up, and the trees work their magic on you.

Elm

Weeping Willow

I was gifted a realisation from these trees silhouetted against the sky, with the half moon burning through the thin cloud - that I am further along the path than I had thought, and although I’d spent the day with anxious thoughts tearing at my self-esteem, I am in fact just where I need to be. Learning to navigate the world, sometimes procrastinating, sometimes over-working, often very hard on myself - but often a walk with the trees sets everything in it’s right perspective.

New trees, I wonder what they will be…

I would love to know if you have a favourite tree - a favourite type of tree or a specific being in the landscape? Let me know in the comments and share this post or forward the email to a friend who also loves trees!

See you in the woods

Jo